Friday, June 5, 2020

I Am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells


Goodreads synopsis: John Wayne Cleaver is dangerous, and he knows it.

He's spent his life doing his best not to live up to his potential.

He's obsessed with serial killers, but really doesn't want to become one. So for his own sake, and the safety of those around him, he lives by rigid rules he's written for himself, practicing normal life as if it were a private religion that could save him from damnation.

Dead bodies are normal to John. He likes them, actually. They don't demand or expect the empathy he's unable to offer. Perhaps that's what gives him the objectivity to recognize that there's something different about the body the police have just found behind the Wash-n-Dry Laundromat---and to appreciate what that difference means.

Now, for the first time, John has to confront a danger outside himself, a threat he can't control, a menace to everything and everyone he would love, if only he could.

Dan Wells' debut novel is the first volume of a trilogy that will keep you awake and then haunt your dreams.

My rating: 4 stars.

Content warnings: R. Many people die in gristly ways, and their injuries are described at length.

(possible spoilers below)

Thoughts: To start off with, John was a pretty fantastic character, narrator and POV character*. He was pretty much everything I had hoped he would be.

That being said, the rest of the story wasn't that interesting to me. After the monster was revealed pretty early on, things just weren't as complex or psychological anymore. And the sudden addition of supernatural monsters seemed to deflate a lot of the personal stakes where John was concerned. It would have been much more interesting to me with a real, human killer who mirrored John in his mindset and mental framework, instead of an inhuman monster who didn't really mirror him. Then again, that did bring around some interesting thematic elements as well. It just wasn't the same.

Even so, the supernatural elements came out of nowhere, and who the monster was was revealed so early it wasn't really that intense after that. Sure there were moments, especially when it seemed the monster was about to strike again, but only once was someone the reader cared about threatened, and then you didn't even know until it was too late. What could have been an intense mystery and chase was instead turned into a boring bloodbath while the protagonist waited on a time to make a move and more people died.

I did find interesting though, how in the series' progression, John is most likely going to be able to bypass his rules to protect humans by... killing demons. Which is both an interesting way to handle it, and a little disappointing.

And I did love John's therapist. Dr. Neblin was the real MVP here. Plus just showing therapy as something good and helpful and supportive, rather than showing Neblin as dumb or harmful or that it's weakness to seek therapy like a lot of stories tend to do.

Overall it had great characters with little interest to the plot. I'm tempted to look into reading the next books just because I love John as a character so much, but the rest of the story did very little for my tastes.

*As a side note, I do have a problem with the notion that anyone with APD/sociopathy is more destined to become a killer than other people. Although the link between that and serial killing is much stronger than a lot of other trends people may point to about various crimes. But for this character and this story, I think it worked and was done well.

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